


Best Friends

by Crash5020



Category: SpongeBob SquarePants (Cartoon)
Genre: Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-23 06:39:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14326761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crash5020/pseuds/Crash5020
Summary: Finally sick of Patrick's behavior, SpongeBob ends their friendship.





	Best Friends

SpongeBob’s Pineapple, 5:32 am

SpongeBob peacefully slept in his bed until he was suddenly thrown off. SpongeBob quickly looked up and was surprised to find Patrick picking up his bed.

“Patrick, what are you doing?” asked SpongeBob.

“My bed broke, so I’m going to need yours,” said Patrick.

“But where am I going to sleep?” asked SpongeBob.

“You can bunk with Gary,” said Patrick.

Patrick threw the SpongeBob's bed through the wall and walked out of the Pineapple. A slightly annoyed SpongeBob turned to Gary and asked, “Do you think you can scoot over Gar-Bear?”

Later that day, at the Krusty Krab, SpongeBob realized that he was out of patties and walked to the freezer to get more. Once he opened the door, he screamed in horror as the freezer was empty.

“The patties! What happened to the patties?!” SpongeBob screamed.

SpongeBob then noticed an enlarged Patrick laying in the middle of the room.

“Patrick, did you eat all the patties?!” asked SpongeBob.

“Yep, though they were a little cold today,” said Patrick.

SpongeBob shook in anger as Mr. Krabs walked by.

“Great Neptune! What happened in here?!” Mr. Krabs exclaimed.

“Patrick ate all the patties,” SpongeBob answered.

“SpongeBob, this is coming out of your paycheck,” said Mr. Krabs.

“What?! Why?” asked SpongeBob.

“Because we all know Patrick doesn’t have any money,” said Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs walked away and Patrick said, “Thanks for covering for me buddy.”

SpongeBob sighed and walked away. Later that evening, SpongeBob walked into his room and jumped straight into his reclaimed bed.

“Meow,” said Gary.

“I had a bad day at work today, Gary,” said SpongeBob. “Patrick came to work and ate all the frozen patties, which means that we had no way to make Krabby Patties. The customers got restless and kidnapped Squidward.”

“Meow”

“Me and Mr. Krabs got him back and fortunately a new batch of patties came today, but I can’t believe Patrick did that,” said SpongeBob. “Sometimes I wonder if he really considers me a friend anymore.”

Suddenly, SpongeBob felt the earth move and fell off his bed. SpongeBob quickly looked his window and was shocked to find Patrick pushing his house.

“Patrick, what are you doing?!” asked SpongeBob.

“I need something to block the sun from my rock,” said Patrick.

“And you’re using my house?!” SpongeBob exclaimed.

“Fruits need sun, right,” said Patrick.

“That’s it!” yelled SpongeBob.

SpongeBob jumped out his window and landed in front of Patrick.

“Patrick Star, we need to have a talk about our friendship,” said SpongeBob. “For a while now, you have been a very bad friend.”

“What are you talking about?” asked Patrick. “I’m a great friend.”

“Does a great friend leave his best friend behind to the mercy of an evil ghost pirate?” asked SpongeBob.

“Well, uh- maybe."

“Does a great friend think it’s a good idea to glue his best friend to a wringer and get the town to hate him?”

“Uh…”

“Does a great friend eat his backstage pass for no good reason or act like a jerk in a friendly game of golf or refuse to share a toy with me when I paid for it or keep using my money while claiming I can’t share or just in general for the past few years just TREATING ME LIKE DIRT!”

“Come on that’s not how you really feel,” said Patrick.

“Patrick, up to now, I’ve been a good sport about these incidents but not anymore!” said SpongeBob. “We used to best pals, but now it seems like you hate me.”

SpongeBob noticed Patrick start to drool as he stared into space and he asked, “Don’t you feel sorry for anything?”

“Sorry about what?” asked Patrick.

SpongeBob sighed and said, “Patrick, I think there’s only one thing I can say to you now. *Dolphin chirps* From here on out, we are no longer best friends!”

Patrick couldn't believe what he just heard.

“Wh-What?! You can’t be serious!” said Patrick.

“I’m serious. From this day forward you are no longer my best friend,” said SpongeBob.

Patrick began to tear up and started to cry.

“SpongeBob doesn’t like me anymore!” Patrick cried.

Patrick ran off leaving SpongeBob to wonder, “Now how am I going to move my house back?”

Squidward walked out of his tiki home and asked, “What’s with all the noise out here?!”

“Patrick and I stopped being friends,” SpongeBob explained.

“Again?” asked Squidward.

“Now I have to find a new best friend,” said SpongeBob. “Hey, Squidward…

SpongeBob was surprised that Squidward was gone and Sandy walked up to him.

“Howdy, SpongeBob, why’s your house over here when it should be over there?” asked Sandy.

“Patrick moved it,” said SpongeBob.

“You know, SpongeBob, you shouldn’t let Patrick get away with something like that,” said Sandy.

“I didn’t. I told him off and stopped being friends with him,” said SpongeBob.

“Really?” asked a surprised Sandy. “Wow, I never thought that would happen. What are you going to do now?”

“First I need to move my house back,” said SpongeBob. “You think you can help me?”

“Sure thing,” said Sandy.

Sandy pushed SpongeBob’s pineapple back to its original spot and asked, “Now what are you going to do about this Patrick thing?”

“I guess I should start looking for a new best friend,” said SpongeBob.

“Alright then, I’ll help you,” said Sandy. “Meet me at my place tomorrow morning.”

Meanwhile, in the middle of nowhere, Patrick tried to come to terms with what SpongeBob told him.

“I don’t understand, how can he think I’m a bad friend?” Patrick asked himself.

Suddenly, a blinding white light shined in front of Patrick and a hooded figure emerged from it.

“Who are you?” asked Patrick.

The figure removes his hood and Patrick was shocked to find himself looking at himself.

“Wait a minute… Are you Mirror Man, hero of the fifth mirror dimension?” asked Patrick.

“No, Patrick, I am the old you,” said the lookalike.

“Old me?” asked Patrick.

“Yeah, the former personality that was lost somewhere in Season 5 or 6,” said Former Patrick.

“Well, why are you here?” asked Patrick.

“I am here to show you the error of your ways,” said Former Patrick.

“What rerroes of my way?” asked Patrick.

“Allow me to show you,” said Former Patrick.

The Former Patrick grabs Patrick’s right arm and they soon teleported in front of the Krusty Krab.

“What are we doing here?” asked Patrick.

“Look over there,” said Former Patrick.

Former Patrick pointed to the left and Patrick noticed SpongeBob in the distance.

“There it is. The finest eating establishment ever established for eating. The Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty. With a help wanted sign in the window,” said the excited sponge. “For years I’ve been dreaming of this moment. I’m going to go in there, march straight to the manager, look him straight in the eye, lay it on the line and… I can’t do this!”

SpongeBob tried to run away but was stopped by Patrick.

“Patrick!” said a shocked SpongeBob.

“Where do ya think you’re going?” asked Patrick.

“I was just-,” said SpongeBob.

“No, you’re not. You’re going to the Krusty Krab and get that job,” Patrick said in a stern tone.

“I can’t, don’t you see?! I’m not good enough,” said the reluctant sponge.

“Who’s first words were, ‘May I take your order?’” asked Patrick.

“Mine were,” said SpongeBob.

“Who made a spatula out of toothpicks in wood shop?” asked Patrick.

“I did,” said SpongeBob.

“Who’s… Who’s… Who’s a big yellow cube with holes?!” asked Patrick.

“I am!” SpongeBob said confidently.

“Who’s ready?!” asked Patrick.

“I’m ready!” said SpongeBob.

“Who’s ready?!” Patrick asked again.

“I’m ready!” said SpongeBob.

“Who’s ready?!” Patrick asked a final time.

“I’m ready!” SpongeBob shouted at the top of his lungs.

SpongeBob ran towards the Krusty Krab chanting  “I’m ready” and ran by Patrick and his former self.

“See how you helped SpongeBob when he didn’t believe in himself,” said Former Patrick.

“Hey, what about that time I helped him with his oral presentation?” asked Patrick.

Patrick and his former self teleported to his rock and watched another Patrick himself throw pillows at SpongeBob’s face.

“Patrick, you were making him feel worse,” said Former Patrick.

“I was helping,” said Patrick.

Former Patrick teleported them to Mrs. Puff’s classroom where they find another Patrick preparing himself to throw a pillow at a very nervous SpongeBob.

“And that’s helping him how?” asked Former Patrick.

“Ok, maybe I wasn’t the best there,” said Patrick.

Former Patrick them teleported him to his neighborhood, where they found SpongeBob and another past Patrick playing a rock-paper-scissors using bubbles.

“See how you and SpongeBob used to be able to play simple games like this with no problems?” asked Former Patrick.

“Don’t we still?” asked Patrick.

Former Patrick teleported them into SpongeBob’s house and they  found SpongeBob and Patrick playing a “friendly” game of golf. Patrick watched himself cheat and throw fits throughout the game, causing him to ask, “Did I really act like that?”

Former Patrick nods his head and Patrick said, “I can’t believe SpongeBob put up with me then. But that had to be my worst right?”

“Not even close,” said Former Patrick.

Former Patrick grabbed Patrick’s hand and forced him to relive the entire Yours, Mine, Mine experience, causing him to break down in tears.

“Oh, Neptune, what kind of friend am I?!” Patrick cried. “I wish I could go back to the old days when I was a perfectly nice guy who didn’t act like a jerk.”

“Hold on Patrick,” said Former Patrick. “You were a better friend back then, but you weren’t a perfect nice guy. I mean you weren’t that sympathetic to SpongeBob when Gary left him and you were mean to him when he pretended to be stupid for your fake parents and you never helped SpongeBob raise Jr. and got SpongeBob in trouble when you went to boating school with him.”

“So, I’ve always was mean to SpongeBob?” asked Patrick.

“Not always,” said Former Patrick. “Patrick, sometimes friends can be mean to each other whether they realize it or not and even SpongeBob is no exception, but even so you need to remember that you have to treat SpongeBob like a friend, not dirt.”

“I understand past me,” said Patrick. “I need to go and apologize to SpongeBob. But before I do that, I have to know, how are you able to teleport us?”

“That’s because this a dream,” said Former Patrick. “When you ran off crying, you ran into a boulder were knocked. In fact, you’re about to wake up now.”

Patrick woke up and rubbed his aching head.

“Ow,” said Patrick.

Patrick noticed the sun rising and said, “It’s morning. I got to find SpongeBob. Wait, there’s something I need to do first.”

Meanwhile, SpongeBob walked to Sandy’s Treedome and was surprised to find a long line of people there. SpongeBob walked up to Sandy as she finished setting up a table and asked, “What’s going on, Sandy?”

“We’re going to interview the citizens of Bikini Bottom and find out which one is best suited to be your new best friend,” said Sandy.

SpongeBob and Sandy took a seat at the table and the first interviewee walked up to them.

“So, interviewee 1, what’s your name?” asked Sandy.

“Betty,” Interviewee answered.

“What’s your favorite meal?” asked Sandy.

“Snails,” Betty answered.

“Next!” SpongeBob shouted.

The next interviewee walked up to them and SpongeBob asked, “So, do you like Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy?”

“Those two suck,” said Interviewee 2

“Next!” SpongeBob yelled.

2 hours of interviews later, Sandy asked, “So, find anyone you like?”

“They were all nice, but they weren’t really best friend material,” said SpongeBob.

SpongeBob started to cry and cried, “I miss the old Patrick! The one who used to support me in my time of need! The one I could rely on if I was in trouble! The one who treated me like a friend!”

Sandy patted SpongeBob on the back and said, “I think it’s time to face facts, SpongeBob. The old Patrick is long gone.”

“I guess,” SpongeBob said as he dried his tears.

SpongeBob stood up from his and tried to walk off, but was stopped by Patrick.

“Patrick? What are you doing here?” asked SpongeBob.

“I’m here to say I’m sorry,” said Patrick.

SpongeBob and Sandy were shocked at what they just heard and SpongeBob asked, “Really?”

“I haven’t always been the greatest friend,” said Patrick. “And Lately I would take advantage of our friendship and sometimes hurt you instead of helping you and I’m sorry.”

“Who are you and what have you done to Patrick?” asked Sandy.

“As a proof to show how sorry I am, I brought you this,” said Patrick.

Patrick pulled a briefcase from behind his back and handed it to SpongeBob. SpongeBob opened it and was shocked to find his original Ol Reliable Jellyfishing net in it.

“Th-This… This is the first Ol Reliable,” said SpongeBob.

“I found it and fixed it up myself to show you how sorry I am,” said Patrick. “Can you forgive me?”

“Oh, Patrick, I could never stay mad at you,” said SpongeBob.

SpongeBob and Patrick hugged and SpongeBob asked, “Now how ‘bout we go Jellyfishing, best friend?”

“Okay,” said Patrick. "Let's go, pal."


End file.
